The Hope to change things for the better
I wanted to create my own story.
"I want to know how it feels like to live a different life. Being someone I can't be, seeing things I can't see. Creating my own fate instead of just having to watch and accept. Where I at least get the chance to fight and holding a glimpse of hope that I may be able to change things. Forging a home for the heart. If there is no place for me in the real world, I'll just create my own. "
That’s what I thought back then when I created this project. Having the power to fight back and the hope to actually being able to change things when the world collapses around you, when fate is tearing your life into shreds. When you are loosing everything you ever had. All I could ever do was trying my best, waiting patiently and watching silently until the pain would be numbed. I realized that the world we live in doesn’t give you many chances to fight.
That said I am also very curios about what other lives may feel like. I always loved to create stories – that way I would be part of this different life too, i would be ale to watch and experience what it would be like. What would I do, what would I feel? Having added this new memories I return to my own life then.
I started this project when I was 16 years old. Back then I felt like there would be no place for me on earth and the project helped me a lot with getting through hard times. It gave me a reason to live. a story only I would be able to tell – because it was my own. I felt needed in a weird way. I started seeing things with different eyes and I gained enough strength to stand through my every day life whilst trying to be someone I could never be. Now I am not alone with that thought anymore, which kind of gives me – gives us – a place here in a weird way. Somehow I found something besides my project that I can’t live without anymore and that I would never want to lose.
Experiencing Freedom in a different world
You're the god of your creations
I started this project in 2013, one year after discovering the world of anime, manga and JRPGs – I found myself and my soul in this. It kept me going when I was ready to just end my life. While everyone else my age was outside living their social lives, I was home sunken deep into the world of anime. Home is the only place where I feel safe after all. Having had too much time to think I came across the thought that I didn’t want to die with nothing to be proud of, nothing to look back when I am old. And since I wasn’t able to produce an anime or a game at that time, I was left with the idea to make the preparation for those – a book. The story I had in mind needed to be written down anyways, so why not make it into something special?
In summer 2012 I started writing down a short story beginning that came to my mind and I found myself creating more and more about this world I grew so fond of. But I didn’t just want to tell a story, I wanted to be part of it too, I wanted to see it “with my own eyes” and being able to interact with my world, interact with my characters, which do now feel like a family in a werid way, because I “know” them in person… With that in mind I continued my project in 2013 and spent the whole summer with it. Never had I ever done anything that fullfilled me more at that time. As school continued I found less and less time to invest in my project, so after trying to continue it for a while I had to freeze it and until lately I haven’t found neither the courage nor the right moment to continue it.
As far as now there about 1400 A5 pages in total written – one chapter missing for the completion of the third book. Even though much has happened up to that point it is still just the beginning considering the whole story of season one “Legacy Of Darkness”.
Since the book is supposed to be an anime I need to have illustrations in it which is one of the main reasons why it’s not published yet. You’re not supposed to just read this story, you are supposed to be part, you should feel like you’d stand there right next to the characters watching them. Of course this is no manga yet, but I aim for one to two illustrations per chapter. I have a hard time drawing these myself since I am almost never satisfied with what I draw and I struggle to make the perfect illustration as I am still learning to draw better. I may have a solution for that but time will show what it’s gonna be in the end.
Darknezz
the other me
Darknezz is a character I created in 2010 which is the Me i will never be. She has quite a lot of backstory considering she has existed ever since I was 14 – back then she found herself waking up in a world she has never been to, not knowing if she existed before, not knowing exactly who she was. She coulnd’t remember her name at first, so people called her Violet. She was born with a black crystal which holds “The Law” and she would die if it’s taken away from here for a longer while – same would happen to the crystal since it’s a part of her soul. Besides that crystal is dangerous. It can change her own worlds and those that are not hers. Darknezz’ death or the destruction of the crystal would have an impact on the world she is currently in and would comletely destroy all the worlds she created.
Up until the creation of Terrenox Libertia she hardly used it though. Due to that crystal she is immortal, is incredibly powerful, is able to manipulate her DNA – so if you see a cute cat it may be her after changing her body to that of a cat – and she is referred to as Goddess later on for she can create and change almost anything. Soon realizing eternal life is nothing but pain and emptiness since she will continue to live when everyone she knows dies and that having power comes with destruction she tries to live as normal as possible. But she has a lot of enemies that are either afraid of her power or want to have it for themselves. So she thinks she is a constant danger to her allies and the ones she loves, so she hides away in Terrenox Libertia and is watching from the shadows where the world she created is going without her guiding it with The Laws. And how people are interacting with her when they not know who she really is.
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